The Jericho Road

I tend to get email responses rather than comments regarding my posts, unless I have touched a tender nerve as I did with the post, “Why I won’t watch Walter Veith videos”. A number of you didn’t like that one. It is still generating comments.(I stand by it, as you can see in the comments section.)

But back to the email. What interest me is the surprise you have felt at what I reveal, as a pastor, about my spiritual failings or the journey in general. I won’t go into the reasons why I do that, since that is the fundamental backstory of this blog. (See the ‘About’ links at the top of the page).

You say this is odd in your experience., that you find it unusal for a pastor. I can tell you I hear the same from some local church members. Those in Newport, where I have been for five years and are more familiar with me, seem to accept it and even appreciate me, but those at Cardiff, where we are currently on the honeymoon, are wondering from time to time.

Personally, I find it unusual that more of us are not open about our own lives. I find life with others very hard when I am using all my energy to hide and protect myself. I wears me out and I get depressed. I understand how playing emotional hide and seek can be entertaining. I still do it even when I’m looking. But it sure makes me sick.

So far, you tell me I am odd but helpful. At first your taken aback and then encouraged. At least I hope that is true most of the time. I do realise I often say things better left alone or am silent when I should speak. From time to time I’m simply angry at the spiritual abuse I see (read the last post) and I can’t help saying something. I practice not letting the ‘sun go down’ on my anger. If I don’t I have a sleepless night.

I stand in need of continual forgiveness. It should be readily apparent to anyone who knows me that I am far from sinless. And you should also know by now how much that hurts me, how I hate my sins, and how I long to overcome them.  

With these things said, I’ll tell you what’s happening now. At the moment, I am resting in the thought that God accepts me, with all my faults, for the sake of his Son, who died for these very sins of mine. They are real sins, real faults. I also pray and study daily for the wisdom to not use his forgiveness as an excuse to indulge myself.

I’m not saying I love sin or long for it or try to find ways of holding on to it. I hate my sin and often myself. I hate being the kind of person who can have been living a life centred around God for years and still do things against him. The more I see in Christ the more I hate this in myself. There are days when I would prefer death to facing the ache of living.

But there is more. I also find grace from God to keep my hopeful. I find forgiveness when I go to him honestly and openly. I find hep when struggling to be honest and open, when my whole being wants to hide from him and others. I know that despite my emphasis on a theology of the cross I sin because I have not been abiding at that very cross. I know this is true because when I do abide with ‘Christ crucified’, sin has no power over me.

I am learning still what it means to be a follower of Jesus. I hope what I share with you qualifies as true pastoral care. If it is not, you can be sure God will take care of that. My best advice is to keep looking to Calvary. You can always trust Jesus. 

Last night I took a few short steps over the edge, into the wasteland, turning our tele to Sky’s religion channel. I couldn’t stay long, the sulfuric fumes burning my throat and eyes, a cacophony of screams banging my eardrums. And then, as cut with a knife, I felt my own wounds in the grotesque caricatures of Christ.

Shouting, gasping ‘healers’, money monsters, and rocking, incoherent ‘celebrants’ abused any idea of the sacred scenes I’ve seen at Calvary. As if peeping through the key hole of an ancient door, I could see the pornography of Christian apostasy. If I thought this it, this the the last true hope of humanity, as I was being cajoled to believe, I would be looking for the nearest, long, high pier.

The obvious pride and greed, the clichéd phrases, and the emotional manipulation (called the work of the Holy Spirit) represent all the book of Revelation foretells as the apostasy of our faith. I am embarrassed to be associated in name to this billion dollar entertainment industry now called Christianity. It reflects nothing of Christ’s image, corrupting and twisting what little light it has into a beastly imitation. Rather than cleansing from sin, the blood of Christ is used like paint, to decorate the dead.

Though liviing with this shame, I find my peace in Christ’s promise to return. He said he will come again with justice and mercy, to give eternal life to those who love him and to “destroy the destroyers of the earth” (Revelation 11.18). Here is some of the Lord’s truly inspired preaching to ponder:

“When he opened the sixth seal, I looked, and behold, there was a great earthquake, and the sun became black as sackcloth, the full moon became like blood, and the stars of the sky fell to the earth as the fig tree sheds its winter fruit when shaken by a gale. The sky vanished like a scroll that is being rolled up, and every mountain and island was removed from its place. Then the kings of the earth and the great ones and the generals and the rich and the powerful, and everyone, slave and free, hid themselves in the caves and among the rocks of the mountains, calling to the mountains and rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who is seated on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, for the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?”  Revelation 6.12-17

Then I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse! The one sitting on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he judges and makes war. His eyes are like a flame of fire, and on his head are many diadems, and he has a name written that no one knows but himself. He is clothed in a robe dipped in blood, and the name by which he is called is The Word of God. And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses. From his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations, and he will rule them with a rod of iron. He will tread the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God the Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords. -Ibid, 19.11-16

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son.”  -Ibid, 21.1-7

My week has been cloudy, a mixture of intense shame, anger, and hurt, with a dripping rhythm of hopelessness. But like the clouds, my feelings come and go, so I wait on God. Today began rough and stormy, the same as other days this week, but with prayer, some writing, and the unintended thoughtfulness of others, I see some light.

I have struggled with spiritual fears for the immediate future. I am scheduled to preach tomorrow as well as have a baby dedication. Nothing is more heart wrenching in my pastoral life than feeling separated from God while expected to lead others in worship. On occasion I have asked someone else to stand in. I have refused to play the hypocrite, infecting others with it. Sadly, at other times, I have done just that. The Word I get today is  “move forward”. He will supply my need when the time comes. In his name, I refuse surrender to my feelings.

This was my morning as I struggled to pray. I turned to writing out my thoughts to God and did find some insight from him. I saw how much I was doubting his love for me, how much I was being dominated by my shame, by my self-hatred. I had moved far away from his Cross.

I have decided to act with faith, leaving my salvation with Christ, trusting him to work in his own time. I waited and he has guided me. I am out and about now facing others; I’m in the vestry, believing he will mediate between my weakness and my calling to love. Should he choose to remove me from pastoral life, I can fully accept that, but so far he has had mercy on me and the churches I serve.

I find life unliveable without a Saviour like Christ. I have found him to be my only hope. He is able to protect me from myself and give me love for others. I find the reasons for his forgiveness in him and his suffering, not in myself. I really have no choice but to see today as another miracle of his grace. He is very, very good.

Few subjects stretch the credibility of our rational mind or probe our bleeding feelings like the death of a friend. Worse still when that death is self-inflicted. Nothing we say seems to compare with what they must have gone through in the lonely hours. Such is the nature of trauma; it cuts the tongue’s cord and leaves us speechless. Still, to heal, to regain our sense of meaning as persons in a world of death, we must give a voice to the inner pain that threatens to numb all the good we might feel in life.

A colleague of mine recently took his own life after suffering quietly with a chronic, painful emotional illness. He was a Christian pastor with many years experience, by the accounts of those who knew him, a good man. I can empathize in part as I consider the feelings and circumstances leading up to a similar period in my own life. However, it is only presumption to speculate on the exact nature of another’s inner pain or assume we read every motive with the clarity of God.

The causes and effects may or may not be uncovered in the healing ministries of man, but once death has hidden them from us, we must commit the secret life of the soul to God, who alone is able to fathom the depths of human suffering. God forbid we dishonour them or God with presumptive judgements on their soul. The Father has committed all judgement to his Son and there, in that sacred heart it must stay. Any attempt to tear it from Him only widens our wound.

I think of Christ in his sufferings for us. I find solace in knowing there is no place a heart can wander, no valley so filled with shadows that he has not first traversed himself.  As Iris DeMent sings,

He reached down, he reached down,
got right there on the ground.
He reached down, he reached down,
and He touched the pain.

Image by Michael Kenny 

Where do I go when your love fails?
Where do I go when death is in my soul?
Where do I go when your hand holds the nails?
Where do I go when my heart’s just a hole?

Where do I go when my knees cannot bend?
Where do I go when your hill is too high?
Where do I go when my wound will not mend?
Where do I go when my breath is just a sigh?

I go to my God, who reaches this low;
I go to my God, who has eyes that see.
I go to my God , the One who I know;
I go to my God, the One who loves me.

While reading the book of Acts this afternoon I fell asleep and dreamed. In my dream I was reading a Church newsletter called The Weekly Boast. Christians, the Boast said, were giving other Christians trophies for collecting larger amounts of money than other Christians. (It was all for charity). There were even pictures. What happy faces! So proud!

As dreams go, the scene changed and I began wondering what was to come. An angel appeared and asked if I understood the dream. Yes, I did, I said. And having seen all the happy faces and knowing how powerful angels are, I had a few suggestions. (I do stupid things in my dreams). I said, “Maybe we should give trophies to the Church with the most martyrs. Or perhaps a trophy for the Church who has raised the most people from the dead or healed the most people from cancer? Don’t they deserve trophies too? I know! We could have a contest to see who looked the most like Jesus and give them the biggest trophy of all.” I was feeling very proud of my suggestions, as I often do in my dreams, when slowly, the light, which had never been too bright anyway, began to fade and I could feel myself slipping back to the real world. Where was my angel? Where was my copy of the Weekly Boast? I wanted to read more. Maybe there was a trophy for me too. But it had all slipped away.

Awake but dozy, I wondered about other things we could do, things that would make us even happier. Maybe we could give trophies for the best repenters or the most sincere confessions. Or those who show the most humility could have a special Certificate of Merit with their picture in the Boast….oh…. that paper was only in my dream. I forced myself awake, took a drink of Evian and picked up my Bible. It’s not the Boast, just something real.

I found my place again in the book of Acts (chapter 2), reading how men and women were so cut to the heart with shame for crucifying the Son of God they cried out, “What will we do? What will we do?”.

Christ is my Lord.

I can say this with gratitude rather than boasting when I see who I am, what I have done against him, when I see the ‘shame of my nakedness’ and the humiliation I have put him through. When I see this and his love for someone like me, my heart is broken and I have nothing left but a confession of his glorious love for one who has shamed him time after time.

His forgiving love is my greatest need. When I cherish it I have all the energy necessary to meet my needs. Abiding in his love, I, the sinner, find warmth for my cold heart, light to guide me out of my darkness, bread to feed my starving soul, and water to quench my burning thirst. I no longer need to use my friends and family to make me feel better. Instead, living in his love, undone by his forgiveness, surprised by his grace,  I have a ‘satisfied mind’. Others speak of it simply as peace and rest, a quietness in the soul making more distinct the voice of God.

Craving desire, the clamouring cry of more, more, more for me is a demonic curse. But Jesus Christ draws the dirty creature with a gift that stills the raging voices and allows me to hear the whispered tenderness of his compassion. In such moments I cry and wonder how I could have been so callous toward him. Why do I so easily shame myself and the One who has never, ever let me down? What is there in me that would bruise the body of Christ, cover him with wounds, and lift him up on a cross for everyone to mock and spit on? How can I sin against my Lord when I see his blood on my hands? Who am I to be loved by such a man as this?

There is nothing left but worship at his feet. I see again why the angels and other heavenly beings bow down and cry, “Holy, holy, holy”, to the Lamb of God.

  And they sang a new song, saying, “Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation,  and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.”   

  Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!”    Revelation 5.9-12

Paul Tournier said Christian meditation was not us asking questions of God, but for God asking questions of us. I agree. We can say we are being led by God when we hear him and obey because we love him. Of course, he is also a very good listener, yet we must move from our self-centred questions about him and our lives to hearing his answers.

Doesn’t this make sense if you imagine meeting Jesus on a dusty road in Palestine, stopping for a rest, for a drink, and then being startled by the purity of his thought, the look of his love, and the grace of his manners? The spirit longing for truth is tuned to the tones of his voice and the wisdom of his words. Then, when he says, “Come to me and I will give you rest”, we can only respond, “Here I am”.

He speaks today in Scripture, the same Jesus, the same words, the same spirit, giving us the same hope. He speaks today in prayer. He speaks today in the voice of others who have heard him. He speaks as we rest in his service.

Today is a good day to hear, to hope, to believe, and obey.  

But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word. Isaiah 61.2 

For most of us, most of the time, our real motives for what we say and do are hidden from us and by us. Seldom, if ever, do we speak or behave for the reasons we imagine. Much darker, deeper, hidden things are below the surface of our consciousness, moving us subtly in the direction of death. Buried fears, shameful greed and envy, rumbling resentments, sordid lust, draining grief, and wounded pride have been denied the light of consciousness but not the power to manipulate us and those we use to get what we want. Self-protective motives dominate from the shadows, keeping us from being honest and vulnerable with others. Cravings crawl below our skin like parasites. We are liars at heart, and worse, there is poison in our tongues.

Such truth, and it is true, only comes to light through seeing what God really meant a human to be. We see that in Jesus Christ. As we look at his life ours is seen for what it is, a hypocritical, white-washed tomb full of death. No surprise we often find Christ hard to be with. It seems that only those who suffer or the truly humble in heart can find anything attractive in Jesus.

In my own case, as others before, it was the suffering created by self-indulgence that brought me to my knees. It could have been different, but I resisted through all the seasons of my life. Only when I felt the full slavery of my desires did I ask God for help. I’m here to say that he met me with grace. There is no question even now of what I deserve. I live because he is good, because he is full of grace and mercy, because he forgives what I could not even bear to look at….my self.

Unless we allow God to lead us and expose our self-deceptions there is no hope for a human being in this world or the world to come. This has been the experience of my life and of many, many others. We are alive to tell the tale only because God found us, brought us up out of the abyss, and introduced us to the light of his kingdom. More than that, he became sin for us; he ‘bore our diseases and with his stripes we are healed’. Even now my days are a continual unfolding and healing of the dark things that threaten me; in each approach of Christ I see the wounds I gave him. Some of these days are full of peace, others are very painful. Either way, I have found that being known by my Lord is the only life I can call a living.

The Gospel is the “power of God for salvation” to everyone who believes it, for in it “the righteousness of God is revealed”. The message of the cross is the core of this gospel, the heart of it’s message and centre of it’s power. When anyone looks at the cross, at Jesus Christ crucified, and believes that his death satisfies the demand of God’s law for perfect love in our life, then that person receives the indwelling presence of Christ himself, enabling them to live as Jesus lived, in peace as a lamb in the midst of wolves.

Loving even our enemies, turning the other cheek to abuse, going the extra mile, walking in humility and hope, these all become the reality of our daily life when we place our faith in Jesus Christ who was crucified for our sins. Shame, fear, anger, grief, and jealousy no longer dominate our minds. We make our decisions based on what is true, not upon whatever feelings circumstances stir up within us.

The heart resting in the love of a crucified and risen Saviour is at peace with God, with itself, and with all in the world around it. This is the promise of the Gospel found in Jesus Christ for all who believe. This is the promise Christians experience as they commit themselves to him morning by morning, day by day. They have received eternal life by faith, they walk by faith, and they keep this experience as long as they keep their faith in Christ. In union with him, all their needs for a good life are met; separated from him they fall back into alienation that leads to death.

Everything good in life depends on the union of the soul with Jesus Christ crucified and risen from the dead. His death to sin becomes our very own, as does his new life to God. The old way is left in the grave; the new way is lived in the light to be seen by all and to bring glory to God who alone is able to raise the dead. If we will believe this truth and trust ourselves to it day by day we will know the peace of God that “passes all understanding”. Our hearts will overflow with love for God and man. Our sole desire will be to glorify the One who died in our place and gave us his perfect righteousness, that we might live unashamed in the presence of our holy God.

With all that is offered by the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for our redemption we have no excuse for walking in the darkness of doubt and despair, no excuse for our failures to love as He has loved us, no excuse for our sins and the misery they bring into the world. Jesus will save anyone from themselves if they will turn themselves, sin and all, over to him. All is done for us, therefore, all is required. Giving all we are, we receive all he is. This is the promise of God, the gospel of our salvation, free to all who come to God through the merits of Jesus Christ, our Lord.

The book of Revelation opens with a statement of how we have this book. It came from God by way of intermediaries, human and divine, revealing “things to come” and blessing those who hear and keep the things inside. It was given to the church over two-thousand years ago to guide her all the way through the remaining years of spiritual warfare between Christ and Satan. No other book in the Bible gives us more direct access into the mysteries of God in his glory. 

In the Apocalypse of God heaven is opened; we see the fullest view possible of the unceasing activity of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as they minister to the human family. The intimate connection between heaven and earth is revealed. We see angels moving swiftly between the two, flaming emissaries of God in our behalf, ministers of light and power sent to work out the will of God for our salvation. Our souls are filled with light as we meditate on these scenes. We are drawn by mercy into the very presence of God, crying with the angels, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of host!”.

As we read this inspired vision our spirits rise to the open door of heaven’s temple; with trembling hearts and bent knees we peer in at the Lamb of God, as though slain from the foundation of the world, interceding for us with his blood, our own names on his lips, our own stories written in the book before him. We hear his voice of comfort, guidance, and warning. We are amazed, even dumbfounded, by his willingness to sacrifice himself for a world so filled with evil and rebellion against a loving, compassionate, forgiving God. The hearts of the faithful are convinced of God’s justice in finally brining a full end to evil, punishing those who have brought such suffering to his children and have threatened to destroy the world itself in their lust for power. God is merciful and just declares the book of Revelation.

With so much light offered to the church we can only wonder in grief, as did John the apostle, at her apostasy as the majority of professed Christians, instead of ‘following the Lamb wherever he goes’, are seduced into worshipping the great enemy of God, the Serpent, the one called the Devil, the inspiring power of the Beast and the Prostitute who rides him. Her idolatry and immorality, though clearly foretold, has been indulged until nothing is left but her punishment and eternal destruction. Yet God in his grace and mercy determines to save a ‘remnant’ of his people, who themselves are guilty of gross evil, have accepted the offering of Christ on the cross in their behalf. They have received his Holy Spirit into their hearts and now, today, enjoy the early days of their eternal life. Heaven, ‘a ceaseless approaching unto God’, has become their home.

What side we choose, what interest we take in this eternal reality is being revealed today in church after church, in gathering after gathering of men and women who take the name of God as their own. We see few preoccupied with this special book for the last days. Excuses, empty excuses, are offered for why other things are more deserving of our time. Worries about imaginary needs, longings to be the centre of attention, fears, doubts, jealous, bitterness, hatred, and shame leave us not time for the life offered in the Word of God. Blind to true life, we live what remains, lives of ‘quite despiration’ vainly hoping it will all magically ‘work out’ in the end. Surely God is too good, too loving to hold our ‘little’ mistakes against us. After all, everyone has done something wrong. God will understand. Heartbreaking sorrow for such ‘small’ indiscretions as ours can hardly be necessary. Maybe someday, not now. Perhaps when we have ‘met our goals’ for the good life, maybe then we will have time to commune with God. For now we will let others, those especially called by God for holy endeavours, we’ll let them be our connection with God by proxy. They can mediate the truth to our souls an hour or two on the weekend while we get on with the real, down to earth things of daily living. They can tell us what they see with their head in the clouds. After all, someone has do take care of business down here on earth.

Like it was throughout history, from the days of Noah to the present, the majority of men and women who call themselves Christian (according to Scripture) are “lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God”, professing godliness but denying its power. They take the broad road, one wide enough to include all their hearts desire except sacrifice, one with no blood on the way. Few will give more than an hour a week to seeking God in faith, repentance, Bible study and prayer, yet many will complain that God has dealt harshly with them or forgotten their needs. Where was he when I needed him? I can tell you, he isn’t on the road to perdition.

If the minutes, hours, days, and years of your life were weighed in scales held by an angel of God, how would the balance between worldliness and the kingdom of God appear? Would your time for eternal realities outweigh the wasted gifts of God squandered in self-seeking? Should God show you the measure of your true self would it reveal you as a polished pillar in the temple of God or a crushed, lifeless powder blown away in the wind?

What does the time you have given to the book of Revelation say about your commitment to love God, to know him, to search out his glory, and serve him as he deserves, faithful ‘even unto death’ as you join him in waging war against the evil of your own soul? What does it say about your attitude to the great sacrifice of Christ, made so that you might know ‘the things to come’?

Only a little time remains for repentance, confession, and faith to manifest themselves in our relationship with God. Soon, Jesus will come in the clouds of heaven to give to everyone their reward. Soon, the divine voice will be heard in every living heart, “let him who is filthy be filthy still and let him who is righteous be righteous still”. While the few remaining grains of sand slip silently through the hour-glass of history, what will your decision be? What will prove to be the revelation of you life?

I have spent late Sabbath afternoon and evening reading, studying, and meditating on passages in the book of Revelation. I’ve noted the similarities between the introductory verses of Rev. 1.4-8 as they relate to chapters 3, 4, and 5. Strong similarities of theme, especially Old and New Testament covenant language are apparent. The theological significance, that is, what it tells us about God in relation to us will unfold with more study. But even on the surface his grace, peace, love, sacrifice, glory, and dominion stand out. How we can have a part in these, a share in the inheritance he has provided is also clear in the message to the seven churches in chapter three. The blood of the Lamb that frees us from our sins is our only hope, our greatest hope, and the theme of our praise to God.

Note especially the theme of Christ blood (New Covenant language) and our being made a “kingdom of priest” (Old Covenant- Exodus 19.6) with the priestly work of the 24 elders in Rev. 4-5, their royal status, and the connection they have with the slain Lamb. These 24 elders, with white robes, crowns, and sitting on thrones have received these three things as fulfilment’s of promises made to the Seven Churches of chapters 2-3. Promises of the Old and New Covenant are joined in Revelation 4-5 as first suggested in Rev. 1.5-6. (There were 24 ‘courses’ of Levitical priest were set aside in the Old Testament to over-see the worship- I Chron. 24.4; 25.1, 6, 9-31). Note also the mention of Christ as coming from the tribe of Judah, as the Lion, in the royal line of David, a continuation of the ‘everlasting’ covenant Blood, royalty, priesthood, kingdom, dominion, worship, and sacrifice all pointing to the glory of God are dominant themes. And don’t miss the Covenant sign of the rainbow which appears over God’s throne (Compare with Gen. 9.12-17 for it’s meaning of preservation, the promise of eternal life).

I’ve also been spending time in Revelation 17 and discovered how close a parallel exists between this chapter and Ezekiel 16. They bear a close reading together and will reveal the horrific truth about God’s apostate people in both the Old and New Covenant epochs. This study, if understood in the light of the New Covenant creation of God’s true “Israel” (those of faith) answers the question: Who is the spiritual mother of prostitutes in Revelation 17? The church of the New Covenant repeats the immorality and idolatry of Israel under the Old Covenant. As with the old, so with the new: only a remnant will be saved and they only by the grace of God as they pass through a suffering that separates the true from the false worshipper. Our apostasies have created our suffering; God’s grace is our promise of restoration. Faith and repentance are the conditions, freely given gifts but ones we must use to bind our hearts with Christ in his righteousness. The remnant, by faith in Christ, keep the commandments of God. Such is the ‘everlasting’ covenant of God with man.

Is the book of Revelation impossible to understand? No. Does it take effort, commitment, and time? Yes, very much. And why shouldn’t it? Isn’t truth worth all we have to give, a ‘pearl of great price’, a ‘treasure hidden in a field’ that a man should give everything to have? Isn’t Christ and his kingdom worth our greatest effort, our most valuable time?

God, in the beginning of this book promises a blessing to those who hear it and read it. And he also told Daniel that the only the wise would understand the things of the last days. (see Daniel 12). Thank God he gives wisdom to those who ask (James 1.5), who will humble themselves and sit at the feet of Jesus to let him open their minds to understand the Scriptures (Luke 24). Who can say there is nothing more to seek, nothing more to learn of God’s wonderful mysteries? “Seek”, said Jesus, “and you will find”.

God wants us to be spiritually prepared for the future, to also know enough to warn others of their danger. His ‘strange act’ of judgment has already begun in preparation for the coming of Jesus, when he will deliver his saints and punish his enemies. May he grant us the time we need for repentance and a return to our first love before our probation has ended.  

This afternoon, while at the church in Newport, I absent-mindedly left my car unlocked after retrieving some keys I had forgotten. Several hours later, 5.20 pm (GMT), a teenager helped himself to my coat and a pair of binoculars I kept in my glove box. I know the exact time because I could watch it all on the CCTV (video) we have at the church. He took ten minutes and two trips to casually do his little deed.

I paid £400.00 for the binoculars, used. Maybe I can claim it on my insurance. The coat, I’m not worried about.

After watching the CCTV footage I called the police, who came promptly within 15 minutes or so. I burned a copy of the incident onto a CD, which they will enhance in the lab. They are also sending a CSI unit to take finger prints. One of the officers thinks he knows the thief and with the evidence may be able to do something, though convictions are very hard to come by in the UK. I’d be happy to have the bins back.

The prisons are overcrowded. If your a teenager you have about a 4-5 year window with little chance of conviction. There just isn’t anyplace to hold them. Only the more serious crimes involving bodily harm and such, and that must be grievous, come to anything. Knife crime is rising rapidly and stabbings seem to be a daily tragedy. And were talking about teenagers here.

Several years ago a twelve-year-old stole my mobile phone; I was later threatened by a group of teens, one older one with a small knife. I had a brick through my vestry window the next night. At least four member’s cars have been broken into during services in the last four years. The church storage room has also been burgled and we have had some  vandalism. Drunks often urinate against the backdoor of our Cardiff church. During a meeting there last fall, someone came in the front door and stole a visitors backpack from the coat rack. In both churches we have to have someone watching the doors during Sabbath worship.

Crime, I’m told by officers, is out of control. Car crime is a particular problem. 

In Cardiff last Sabbath, after I pulled to the curb and parked, a man approached me and said his van had just been stolen a few minutes before. He noticed the CCTV we have there and asked for a copy. We obliged.  

I’ve titled this post ‘Testing My Love’ because, once again, loving concern for the moral decline of the young thief was not my first response. I can say I haven’t been upset, no feelings of anger, though I feel a twinge of loss for my binoculars. They were very good Nikons and I used them often for birdwatching. But I’m still bothered that my first response was self-interest. I can only thank God he has mercy for us both, the thief and I. We both need the same Saviour.  

It is clear and convincing to me that more laws or more enforcement will not hold back the growing tide of crime in this country and throughout the world. As always, the most effective help is the gospel, when the hearts of human beings find their deepest needs met by Jesus, who died for their sins. That’s what brought me back from the addiction and crime I once ‘enjoyed’. Many will refuse, most I think, but there remains hope for anyone seeking something better than this world can offer. I will continue to preach Christ and him crucified as the only hope for a world on the brink of eternity. For he is not just a good hope, but the only real hope we have. Thank God for his mercy and love.

I wish I had dwelt more on the love of Christ in my life, my ministry, and in my teaching. The gospel is simple yet full of power for all who catch even a glimpse of God’s love manifested in giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. Jesus willingly took our sins on himself for no other reason than his deep love for us. In doing so, he also provided a perfect righteousness that meets all the claims of God’s law on the soul. He gives this righteousness freely, as a gift, to all who put their trust in him. It is this message that brings hope and courage to us when we are filled with shame and regret, not only for what we have done, but for who we have become. How often I’ve failed to make the love of Christ known to someone suffering with their guilt!

By God’s grace I’m determined to focus more and more of my attention on the cross of Christ, on the work he did for us, on the suffering he endured so that we might have hope, on the eternal love he has for the worst us. If we would uplift the love of God seen in the life and death of his Son we would see far more men and women, even children, find hope to live the next day of their life. This has been the story of my life and I want to do what I can to share such a hope with others.

I’ll take this moment to ask forgiveness for those posts I’ve written that are so full of self and void of grace. I let most of them stand if only as a warning not to put your trust in men for salvation, but in God alone who has worked that out for us in the gift of his Son. Whatever your place in life as you read this, be sure of your hope in the righteousness Christ. He freely gives it to all who trust his love. Take time to read his teachings, review his life, and meditate on his cross. The message will come through clearly that he has loved you with everlasting love and this love will meet the longings of your heart.

WHAT IS ‘TELLING TIME’?

An invitation to my churches to TELL when, how and why they first became Christians (not necessarily Seventh-day Adventist…that may or may not have come later). It is time to focus on the relationship and glorify God, not merely how we came to believe certain doctrines. That part of the story is important but should be told ONLY as it applies to the relationship with Christ himself.

        FOCUS QUESTION: What has God done for me though his Son and how has he shown me mercy? (from Mark 5.19),                                      Note the emphasis on Jesus. What has God done ‘through’ Christ for me?

        TWO TYPES OF STORIES:  Then and Now > What has God done for me? What is God doing for me?

Rules:

1. NO ONE is to ever be pressured or manipulated into telling their story. The only compulsion is one’s own love for God and others informed by a conscience educated in the Scriptures. Those who choose to Tell are free to change their minds or stop at any time.
2. The Teller has seven minutes, no more…unless the group ask for it or God is clearly leading toward more. Moderator (Elder or Pastor) is the time keeper. Time is to be strictly kept. (This encourages brevity and  clarity when testifying. It also encourages thoughtfulness and self-discipline.)
3. No one should tell a NOW story until they have told their THEN story…unless the two are the     same…meaning they have very recently become disciples.
4. If you commit to telling a THEN story you must also, on a subsequent Sabbath, tell a NOW story…what is God doing for you NOW.
5. You can only tell a third and subsequent time by invitation.
6. The teller closes with selecting a favourite song for everyone to sing together.
7. Allow 30-40 minutes for program, no more unless a very strong interest is clearly apparent.
8. End with prayer, offered by one of the tellers. No one can be a teller if they are not willing to pray.
9. There will be no sermon on TELL Sabbaths. If there is no one willing to tell the time is to be filled with singing, Scripture reading and prayer led by the moderator or those invited by the moderator. No Tell = No Sermon. Selected Scriptures will be provided in advance, should the need arise.

WHEN: One Sabbath a month (first or last), during the regular preaching time.

WHY: To glorify God, motivate members, train members in telling their experience of God, invite the presence of God, draw out heartfelt confession, invite an accepting attitude among each other, build empathy and friendship between members, and to ask others if they will follow Jesus Christ.

Note:

What I’ve outlined above is rare in my life. This rarity is neither Biblical nor Christian.

But this will change, not for all, but for anyone who plans on meeting Christ in the flesh without fear or guilt. Those who will not tell have nothing to tell. Those who do, will. For our witness is not an option, but the necessity born of love.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.  -John 15.9-14

Have you ever wondered why your longings for a close walk with God seem to go on and on but you find little satisfaction?  It is true that we should long to be close to him every day, yet the longing itself is not enough, not the thing itself. Jesus will be as close to us as we are willing to be and that willingness is revealed in our obedience to him. To say we long to be with Christ but are unwilling to bring every thought into captivity to him is to make ourselves liars. The heart that truly loves Christ is an obedient heart. Such a heart has eyes only for the will of God for no other reason than because we love him. The real obstacle that separates the soul from God is our sin.

Where does such an obedience come from? It is the obedience of faith, the obedience given us by the indwelling Spirit when we place all of our faith in God’s love for us. We can only love him by receiving the love he has for us. God is love; love comes from God. Trusting fully in the Word that declares, “I have loved you with an everlasting love”, trusting in the love of Christ manifested in his dying as a substitute for our sins, we then receive the promise of his Spirit and this is the Spirit of holiness who alone can enable us to obey from the heart . This is what Jesus called, “the new covenant in my blood”, the writing of his law on the tablet of the human heart.

If we would make the love of God the meditation of our heart moment by moment, if we would take special times alone with him to hear his Word and drink in the love he has for us we would have the joy, a fullness of joy, he freely offers to all of his friends. 

The terrible truth of our sin is this: we do not love God as he deserves. This is the core of our unrighteous rebellion and the reason we found it possible to crucify the Son of God. We loved ourselves more than God. Only a daily examination of our hearts in the light of his love for us will reveal such sins and bring us to repentance. Calvary stands for eternity as the memorial of his love. It convicts of sin and comforts the sinner. It brings home to the conscience the exact nature of our sins while revealing the cure for those sins. It shows us the suffering of Christ for a world that did not love him while testifying that such hatred could be forgiven by him alone. Going there in faith, abiding there in faith we receive his very life as our own. We receive the God of love.

This forgiveness found only in Jesus Christ is a real forgiveness, not a mere feeling or psychological transaction. Though it is something real within us, it is also a just, righteous act on the part of God. He has provided in his Son Jesus a real true-to-life righteousness that is acceptable to him and workable for us. It is the very righteousness of Jesus we need to stand over agains